Life

My silent war is in descise.
You would know my content tries
In a world where everything counts
Everything needs to be in small amounts
Food friends fun and happiness
Only time to worry, none to reminess
Live in the moment, worry bout the future
Everyone causes more pain, nothing to use to suture

Hidden behind closed door you’d never guess
Every one judged by how the look, how they dress
With out a second glance you pass me in the halls
When you look at me, you treat me like I’m part of the walls

Why must I try this hard
Why do you make me go the extra yard?
Not pretty, not perfect, what else am I not?
Funny? Smart? In between I am caught
Between want and need
Between beg and pleed
What next will you make me do?

I look in the mirror at a total stranger
I see her eyes and feel like I’m in danger
Get me out of this trap you set
If you let me free I’ll pay back the debt

courage

told another lie today And I got through this day No one saw through my games I know the right words to say Like "I don't feel well" "I ate before I came" Then someone tells me how good I look and for a moment For a moment I am happy But when I'm alone No one hears me cry I need you to know I'm not through the night Some days I'm still fighting to walk towards the light I need you to know That we'll be okay Together we can make it through another day I don't know the first time I felt unbeautiful The day I chose not to eat What I do know is how I changed my life forever I know I should know better There are days when I'm okay And for a moment For a moment I find hope But there are days when I'm not okay And I need your help So I'm letting go I need you to know I'm not through the night Some days I'm still fighting to walk towards the light I need you to know That we'll be okay Together we can make it through another day You should know you're not on your own These secrets are walls that keep us alone I don't know when but what I know now Together we'll make it through somehow Together we'll make it through somehow I need you to know I'm not through the night Some days I'm still fighting to walk towards the light I need you to know That we'll be okay Together we can make it through another day

emily moments

laughing llamas, licking little ladybugs, learning laws legally.
jumping jaguires jiggle jungle jumpers.
poptarts pop prickley pumpkins.
emily enlightens everyone eventually.
night night, noodles number never not!

cheese

Cheese is yummy. i love to est it withg crackers and pretelz! i love to have some good cheese with my wine. I really like it online. i enjoy spending free time admirering it. i love cheese! what can i say? it is better then cookies!

Did you notice?

that the word cookie shows up online alot. it must mean sumthin wierd. Like it is saying that the internet is being ran by BIG ugly Aleins(SP?). or it meand that no one should eat cookies any more cuz those aleins infested them with big ugly nanobots just ready to give you a HUGE ulcer. maybe it is just their code for creepy octapuses ovulate kangaroos in elmos stomach. i just dnt know this one!?!? oh well, i will add it to my todo list. lol! (laughing on livers)

WTF!?

wtf...what are the meaning for that? what the fuck is the one we all know...but there is also walter take five. or why talk fast? or when time's free. there are many reasons for lol too. like lots of love, lonely o'lot. or lovein on (the) lake. same with the acronym ttfn, time to fall (in) love, tomorrow the fairys nit. gtg or ganstas take grapes...lol jj (or jamin jaguires) lol.

Why?

God, why do you cause ppl to hurt them selve? Why do you have such strange ways of getting ppl over things? God, i ask questions like this almost every day and Still you give me no answers. I never realized how over reactive ppl can get until two of my best friends tried to comit suiside 3 times each, cut them selves, became beliamic, and just don't know how to dealwith their grief. God, we all have greif, we all deal with it in our own ways, but why would you want ppl to physically hur them selves to get better? Why is it that Me and alot of my other fiends have just the same amount(some times more) of stress but we can get over it with out cutting, throwing up on purpose, starving our selves to look skinnier. Why is it that most kids who have everything the want and need think their lives suck? And then the kids who parents only have enough money to pay rent and get about 2 weeks of food for the month are happy and love life, when their lives kinda suck? I just dont under stand how many ppl a day kill them selves, compared to the number who listen to their friends who are trying to get them to stop what they're are doing. How is it that you make some ppl think that what they are doing wont kill them, but you make others KNOW that it will lead to that? Why do you make ppl atemp to kill them selves to show them that they shouldnt do it but you end up letting them try again? God, i am full of questions, but you have given me few answers to them? I am asking you, Why? because i am sick of pretending to know all about my friends doing and all the ppl like them. I ask you "Why?" because you are hurting ppl i love now, and also ppl who i love love, so on and soforth. I ask you "why?" God, because i know you care about every one, but you are making ppl YOU love hurt them selves in ways that is just horrible.