haha

ok so this is a bad picture cuz i was in pain, (not the arm) and it was an awkward first date.

ralizations

I was sitting listening to music just now and i realized that if something has an effect on your life (whether good or bad) you feel it every time you assciate with something from it, or that reminds you of it. I was listening to "call me when your sober" and that was D's favorrite song, and i am over him, but i t made me remeber the good times, and kinda make me miss them. but at the same times, it made me look at the bad times(tho there were few) and made me happy as can be that i dont have to deal with it.
ANd it also maffe me realize that if you love someone..you can never stop loving them. Thats why your always trying to make ex friends, boyfriends, girlfriend, and people you loved in the past know you still exist.

then it lead me to realized that no matter how someone treats you when your totally inlove, you will take it. Humans are afraid of heart break, and denile, so thats why many woman stay in abusive relationships....it takes a VERY emotionally mature and stable person to get out of bad sitchations no matter how in love they are.

this could all be bull shit but i have been thinking on it for a while, WE LOVE BEING LOVED AND WE lOVE TO KNOW WE ARE LOVED. if no one loved you, or it felt as tho no one did, you would find no need to live. so LOVE is God. God keeps us alive, and based on my theory, so does love, are at least makes us want to stay alive.

wow thats a lot of thougts...lol

good night i guess. no one will read i dont think

Life

My silent war is in descise.
You would know my content tries
In a world where everything counts
Everything needs to be in small amounts
Food friends fun and happiness
Only time to worry, none to reminess
Live in the moment, worry bout the future
Everyone causes more pain, nothing to use to suture

Hidden behind closed door you’d never guess
Every one judged by how the look, how they dress
With out a second glance you pass me in the halls
When you look at me, you treat me like I’m part of the walls

Why must I try this hard
Why do you make me go the extra yard?
Not pretty, not perfect, what else am I not?
Funny? Smart? In between I am caught
Between want and need
Between beg and pleed
What next will you make me do?

I look in the mirror at a total stranger
I see her eyes and feel like I’m in danger
Get me out of this trap you set
If you let me free I’ll pay back the debt

courage

told another lie today And I got through this day No one saw through my games I know the right words to say Like "I don't feel well" "I ate before I came" Then someone tells me how good I look and for a moment For a moment I am happy But when I'm alone No one hears me cry I need you to know I'm not through the night Some days I'm still fighting to walk towards the light I need you to know That we'll be okay Together we can make it through another day I don't know the first time I felt unbeautiful The day I chose not to eat What I do know is how I changed my life forever I know I should know better There are days when I'm okay And for a moment For a moment I find hope But there are days when I'm not okay And I need your help So I'm letting go I need you to know I'm not through the night Some days I'm still fighting to walk towards the light I need you to know That we'll be okay Together we can make it through another day You should know you're not on your own These secrets are walls that keep us alone I don't know when but what I know now Together we'll make it through somehow Together we'll make it through somehow I need you to know I'm not through the night Some days I'm still fighting to walk towards the light I need you to know That we'll be okay Together we can make it through another day

emily moments

laughing llamas, licking little ladybugs, learning laws legally.
jumping jaguires jiggle jungle jumpers.
poptarts pop prickley pumpkins.
emily enlightens everyone eventually.
night night, noodles number never not!

cheese

Cheese is yummy. i love to est it withg crackers and pretelz! i love to have some good cheese with my wine. I really like it online. i enjoy spending free time admirering it. i love cheese! what can i say? it is better then cookies!

Did you notice?

that the word cookie shows up online alot. it must mean sumthin wierd. Like it is saying that the internet is being ran by BIG ugly Aleins(SP?). or it meand that no one should eat cookies any more cuz those aleins infested them with big ugly nanobots just ready to give you a HUGE ulcer. maybe it is just their code for creepy octapuses ovulate kangaroos in elmos stomach. i just dnt know this one!?!? oh well, i will add it to my todo list. lol! (laughing on livers)